Sunday, April 17, 2011

H.O.M.O

Hidden no longer, I now know the path constructed for my being. I’ve grown to define myself for who I am and not what I am. I use to wake up every day with one challenge awaiting me and that was my blackness. I was a little boy often wondering if my skin color would put me at a disadvantage until the day I said to the world “deal with it.” Then I use to wake up with two challenges ahead of me, one being not to be seen for my skin color and the other one being my homosexuality. I couldn’t escape my blackness because it was there for the world to see, but I could hide my homosexuality because I simply didn’t look, act or even talk like what most believed was gay. I hid it well and in fact would’ve easily settled on staying hidden if indeed I wanted to live myself for everyone else. So I walk many streets with my head held high showing closed minded eyes that what they think and believe is not written in the concrete I walk upon. I walk showing them that it is I who create footprints of pride and self-confidence. So go ahead, call me a HOMO.
Oppressed no longer, I have found my voice. No longer am I afraid to tell the story of me. I use to sit on park benches and hear racial slurs yelled my way, and as a child I was afraid to speak back. I sat quiet in crowds of homophobic attitudes, afraid to feel their wrath. But I realized it was my actions that did all the talking. Not allowing others to break me with words made me invincible. I am still showing the world that I am not a nigger or faggot but an influence that will lead by example and flourish with intelligence. So go ahead, call me a HOMO.

Mocked no longer, I am proud to be me. I’ve sat on curbs of defeat afraid to life my head to the world. I didn’t want everyone around me to see me as different or a disappointment. I can still hear laughter echoing in shallow halls of uneducated minds and for so long I allowed those echoes to vibrate through my soul. But one day I decided that laughter was music to my ears and my motivation to be all I was meant to be including my homosexuality. I was told I lived the life of sin, but I often wondered what was so sinful about loving another. If people shall judge me without knowing the many qualities of me, then I don’t need those individuals centered in my world. I will articulate and express with self content. So go right ahead, call me a HOMO.
Ostracized no longer, I stand among many men and women who were told who they are were shameful. I’ve marched through oceans of hatred, never drowning and never sinking. Everyone is different in their own way and everyone is disliked by someone for a reason outside of their control. Never allow who you are be influenced by another’s opinion of who you should be. I was dealt the cards of being black and gay in the game of life and I don’t plan on leaving the poker table as have many in other situations. Stand tall and believe in you, because that’s how high I’m standing. If I offend you by being me, then the problem lies within you. Shout it loud, call me a HOMO.


© 2008
Tarringo T. Vaughan

2 comments:

  1. I think your blog is very good. Keep on it. I know it will help many people.

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  2. Love it!My partner is African American so I am always interested in reading things from a gay black man's perspective. Love how you point out the difference between not being able to hide your skin color but being able to hide your sexuality, it's a point most people don't understand but you, my partner and others like you understand it the most.

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