Sometimes you just meet that one right person at that one right time in life. It’s that voice you feed in the many crowded spaces of silent that reminds you that you are not alone. And as I sat in my sunlit apartment on an early Saturday afternoon I wondered about myself. I wondered if there was any chance of connection for me as I was newly discovered in a new world that had yet to know my name. I was too quiet and hesitant and the kind of person who waited around for things to happen to me. I found myself unhappy and lost all ambition to believe in the gay world. I felt alone in an empty crowd. Apart of it but yet very disconnected until I found a gay chat site on the internet. It was there in this cyber space that I found many like me; many just opening their eyes to new visions of discovery so I began to communicate. After about an hour or so I found myself in this continuous conversation with a guy who had much in common. He was just a screen name but the individuality in him quickly shined through and after a couple more hours that online conversation transferred to a phone conversation where two the common voices of strangers connected in familiarity.
A bond is a connection between two souls discovered.
I never expected this kind of interaction. And I never believed it possible from that sort of venue but there he was talking and sounding so real. As that afternoon turned to early evening a phone conversation turned into a possible meeting. The hesitance resurfaced inside me and all the doubt bullied my thoughts for just a moment. But something told me to meet this man for dinner so I did and at that time was never treated with so much respect and gentleness than I was when our eyes met and a new connection began. It was beginning to feel like one of those lifetime movies where two people meet out of fate. He was a couple years older, taller, well built and very real. We continued to talk over Chinese dumplings and a glass of wine. He was changing the way I viewed this new world; this gay world and for once in long time I felt a constant smile on my face. And a once lonely Saturday afternoon turned into a warm night of walking and having ice cream. We traded our experiences and continued to connect until the night had to finally end. It turned into a few months of dating and an eternity of an experience. I was in my mid twenties back then, lost, alone and pessimistic about this life until that moment of connection set me on a new path of possibility.
The people we meet help write the chapters of our definition.
© 2010
Tarringo T. Vaughan
Beautiful reflection! I am glad you had a honest defining encounter, it can be very shallow even when in groups we identify with Thankfully there really are some genuine people behind 'user names' and at times more intimacy shared with the safety of the Monitor screen. I am glad you met, Life time TV and Chinese dumplings, with ice cream, is great too:)Peace Blessings
ReplyDeleteDaSeekah had a link to you....
ReplyDeleteI've been looking over all your posts - impressive and moving!
What a brave man you are. Were you very lucky in your parents, or did you emancipate yourself out of sheer strength of mind and will?
Thank you both Ava Maria and thank you bobby..glad you found me:)
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